Imaginary Materials

Photo by: Fatima Fakier Deria

Evan finally attended the Speculative Fiction Writers conference. Luckily veteran scifi writer, Gordon Peck, agreed to show him around.

“The whole thing is held on a holodeck where anything is possible,” explained Gordon as they crossed a canal.

Evan noticed the bridge had no supports to hold it up. “Why isn’t this bridge falling?”

“It’s made with hovertonium.”

A crashing shuttle craft nearly hit them, but Gordon deflected it with a wave of his hand.

“My personal shield.” Gordon explained. “Made with handwaveium.”

At lunch, Evan said, “This sandwich just cured my writer’s cramp!”

“Of course,” said Gordon. “It’s made with bolognium.”
__________________________________
Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2018/06/20/22-june-2018/

Author’s Notes:

In speculative fiction, fictional materials often come into play. Lately, I just learned about Bolognium. I had a good laugh over it and couldn’t resist a little double entendre with it.

Bolognium (fictional element): “Noted science fiction writer David Gerrold attributes the use of the term in science fiction writing to Larry Niven, the author of Ringworld, who used it to describe imaginary materials or processes capable of explaining properties unachievable through known or scientifically-postulated means…”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fictional_elements,_materials,_isotopes_and_subatomic_particles

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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36 Responses to Imaginary Materials

  1. James Pyles says:

    A close cousin to “Bullsh*tium.” By the way, thanks for the link.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. HA HA!! Now… please tell me where to get said bolognium???!! 😅😅

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That sandwich sounds yumyumium! Any going spare?

    Click to read my FriFic tale

    Like

  4. Dear Eric,

    Bolognium pretty much sums up your story. 😉 In TNG my favorite episodes involved the holodeck. Loved this story, too. And LOVE seeing you back on the Hollywood Squares.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  5. trentpmcd says:

    Too often my stories descend into bolognium, but that’s beside the point, I’ll take on of those sandwiches 😉

    Like

  6. Dale says:

    Can always count on you for a chuckle… There is way too much bolognium out there already, methinks!

    Like

  7. Excellent story, Eric. It had me grinning from ear to ear the whole way through.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Jelli says:

    HAHAHA! Love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. StuHN says:

    This was fun, and cool to know Larry Niven had a hand in future bologna. I wonder what type of mustard goes best with it?

    Like

  10. lisarey1990 says:

    Nicely written piece.

    Like

  11. yarnspinnerr says:

    🙂 Brilliantly done.

    Like

  12. pennygadd51 says:

    Great fun! A holodeck set up by writers of speculative fiction would be an awe-inspiring place!

    Like

  13. jillyfunnell says:

    I loved this. I was laughing all the way through. Brilliant!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. granonine says:

    Funny. Entertainium.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. What a load of bolonium! oh gosh you have us all adding -ium to as many words as possible today. I think I’ll use this to explain materials to my kid 😉

    Like

  16. lenmruth says:

    Great story! It’s got me thinking of all sorts of materials! 1 obfucscatium, a gas who’s properties aren’t understood until the climax of the story. 2 Indetreminum: matter that shifts to different states with ever changing properties, (might take a trilogy to figure that one out).

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha! I think I’ve read a few stories made with obfuscatium. I always like notreallyrarerium. That material that’s hideously expensive because it’s rare, but practically everything in the blooming story is made out of it. 😉 Thanks much!

      Liked by 1 person

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