Evan finally attended the Speculative Fiction Writers conference. Luckily veteran scifi writer, Gordon Peck, agreed to show him around.
“The whole thing is held on a holodeck where anything is possible,” explained Gordon as they crossed a canal.
Evan noticed the bridge had no supports to hold it up. “Why isn’t this bridge falling?”
“It’s made with hovertonium.”
A crashing shuttle craft nearly hit them, but Gordon deflected it with a wave of his hand.
“My personal shield.” Gordon explained. “Made with handwaveium.”
At lunch, Evan said, “This sandwich just cured my writer’s cramp!”
“Of course,” said Gordon. “It’s made with bolognium.”
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Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2018/06/20/22-june-2018/
Author’s Notes:
In speculative fiction, fictional materials often come into play. Lately, I just learned about Bolognium. I had a good laugh over it and couldn’t resist a little double entendre with it.
Bolognium (fictional element): “Noted science fiction writer David Gerrold attributes the use of the term in science fiction writing to Larry Niven, the author of Ringworld, who used it to describe imaginary materials or processes capable of explaining properties unachievable through known or scientifically-postulated means…”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fictional_elements,_materials,_isotopes_and_subatomic_particles
A close cousin to “Bullsh*tium.” By the way, thanks for the link.
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Haha! Yeah Bullsh*tium has more electrons. It eventually decays into Bolognium.
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HA HA!! Now… please tell me where to get said bolognium???!! š š
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Hehe. It’s a fusion of the elements Oscarium & Meyerium. š Thanks Courtney! š
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Baloneyum š
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A different spelling, and quite apropos. š
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That sandwich sounds yumyumium! Any going spare?
Click to read my FriFic tale
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Haha! If there’s any left over I’ll be sure to ship it out to you. Thanks Keith!
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Dear Eric,
Bolognium pretty much sums up your story. š In TNG my favorite episodes involved the holodeck. Loved this story, too. And LOVE seeing you back on the Hollywood Squares.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Mine too. I love all the crazy stuff they did on the holodeck. It’s good to be back with the gang again. Thanks so much, Rochelle! š
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Too often my stories descend into bolognium, but that’s beside the point, I’ll take on of those sandwiches š
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I’m not averse to bolognium myself. It can really help a story along, especially if you’re hungry. š I’ll ship a sandwich out your way. Thanks Trent! š
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Can always count on you for a chuckle… There is way too much bolognium out there already, methinks!
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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, right? When there’s too much bolognium, It’s time for fried egg and bolognium sandwiches! š Glad you got a chuckle. Thanks Dale! š
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The best kind I of sandwiches!
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Excellent story, Eric. It had me grinning from ear to ear the whole way through.
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Most cool! I love to hear that. Thanks Russell! š
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HAHAHA! Love it!
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Thank you kindly! š
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This was fun, and cool to know Larry Niven had a hand in future bologna. I wonder what type of mustard goes best with it?
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Larry Niven did a lot of cool stuff. And personally, I prefer Dijon mustard with my Bolognium. š Thanks much for stopping in! š
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Nicely written piece.
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Thanks so much!
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Thank you! š
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š Brilliantly done.
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Thank you. Much appreciated. š
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Great fun! A holodeck set up by writers of speculative fiction would be an awe-inspiring place!
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I would think so. It would be full of all sorts of crazy and amazing sights. Glad you had fun. Thanks much!
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I loved this. I was laughing all the way through. Brilliant!
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Great to hear that. I do love sharing laughs. Thanks so much! š
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Funny. Entertainium.
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Haha! Yeah, I’ve been stocking up on entertainium. š Thanks so much! š
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What a load of bolonium! oh gosh you have us all adding -ium to as many words as possible today. I think I’ll use this to explain materials to my kid š
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Haha! So you’ll be explaining about woodium and plasticium? I love it. Thanks Fatima! š
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Great story! It’s got me thinking of all sorts of materials! 1 obfucscatium, a gas who’s properties aren’t understood until the climax of the story. 2 Indetreminum: matter that shifts to different states with ever changing properties, (might take a trilogy to figure that one out).
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Haha! I think I’ve read a few stories made with obfuscatium. I always like notreallyrarerium. That material that’s hideously expensive because it’s rare, but practically everything in the blooming story is made out of it. š Thanks much!
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