The Hot

Photo by: Susan Spaulding

Estella built her restaurant out of pilings, sticks, and assorted debris she found discarded near the shore. She began selling her pork tamales and soon gained a reputation. People from all over Mexico traveled to try them. When touristas entered the tiny space to eat, she insisted they eat with milk. Often, she called the hospital in advance.

Alien assassin, Torbyld Kin, entered the ramshackle hut on a mission. Like others of his race, he looked perfectly human. His people hated humans and believed themselves superior. Unfortunately, after losing three interstellar wars to humans, their hate grew worse. Thus, Torbyld was sent back 300 years to kill Gerrold Hardy, inventor of the human FTL drive.

Torbyld entered, expecting to find Hardy on vacation from grad school, but was mere hours early. With nothing to do, he ordered tamales.

“You Americano?” said Estella.

“No. Why?”

“Americanos catch fire too easy.”

“You exaggerate.”

“Maybe. You want mild, medium, or hot? I give mild to Americanos and babies. Hot only for Mexicans.”

“I’m not American! Gimme the hot.”

Five minutes later, Estella set down the fire extinguisher. She called the hospital.

“Estupido American ate the hot…what?… No stretcher. Bring an ashtray.”
Written for Sunday Photo Fiction:

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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20 Responses to The Hot

  1. Susan says:

    Humanity saved by tamale. Priceless!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. James Pyles says:

    Stupid alien. Reminds me of the Kzin. They’re a cat-like alien race created by science fiction writer Larry Niven. In spite of their ferocity, they always manage to loose interstellar wars with humans.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha! I think I had all the Man-Kzin books from I to VIII. I loved them. The Kzinti were overly ferocious and it always burned them. The human monkey-boys always had a trick up their sleeve.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Indira says:

    Hahaha. Superb.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Brilliant, especially those final few words!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Jelli says:

    Stupido Americanos indeed! Hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Laura says:

    truly laughing out loud!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. joetwo says:

    ¡Que Picante! muy bueno

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ha ha ha ha ha. Holy guacamole!


  9. Tena Carr says:

    Good Story

    Liked by 1 person

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