A month after the Wertiger Insititute opened with its Space Communications Array, the aliens contacted humanity.
“For one month, we will monitor Earth’s transmissions, then give our Final Order.”
That was it. What did it mean?
To be safe, TV channels sanitized their broadcasts. “The Sound of Music” and “Bambi” played thousands of times. Movies like “A Clockwork Orange” and “50 Shades of Gray” never played once.
No one thought about the commercial content.
The hour arrived and the entire Earth waited with baited breath.
At last the aliens spoke, “Our Order is: One thousand pepperoni pizzas with extra cheese!”
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Written for the Friday Fictioners: https://rochellewisoff.com/2018/10/17/19-october-2018/
To go.
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I think the pickup line will be crowded. π
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I am descended from a pickup line that my Mother once listened to – with ‘bated’ breath. π
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I’m up for some of that pizza. Good taste those aliens! π
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Indeed. Clearly they have an advanced civilization. π Thanks Iain!
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I hope there are no vegetarian or vegan or gluten-free aliens. They’d be out of luck.
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Good point. They should order side salads too. π
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Now this is funny!
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Hehe. Glad you liked it. Thanks much! π
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You made me smile, EagleAye! And I’m glad they picked pizza rather than big Macs!
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Well, they do have an advanced civilization after all. π Glad you smiled. Thanks kindly!
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Dear Eric,
For a moment the movie The Monitors came to mind. Love the last line…fortunately my coffee was on the table beside me. Booyah! No snorting it through my nose this morning. π Nice to see you back in the FFFold.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Great piece, Eric. I’m surprised they found a pizza commercial. All they seem to run on our channels is prescription drugs.
Oh NO! What if they ordered Viagra?
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Haha! You know, I was going to have them order spaceship insurance and medicine for dry eyes. I just ran out of words. π Thanks so much, Russell! π
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Buahahahah!!!!
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Hehe. Thanks Dale. π
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If earth gives you cheesy movies, get lotsa pizza! I hate to think what they would have ordered if fifty shades of grey had been broadcast. Eeew!
A very amusing and lateral take on the prompt.
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Well, bullwhips do have multiple purposes. It’s not a bad buy. π Thanks much!
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Ha! Good news for Pizza Hut. Of course, I’m in the queue right behind them…
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Ouch. A long wait for pizza. Papa John’s instead? π
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Ha! Ha! Was that thick pan or thin crust? Uber Alien Eats probably senses a business opportunity here.
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Haha! Uber Alien Eats established a delivery contract with Earth shortly afterward. FTL drives in exchange for an exclusive contract seems a smart deal. π
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GROAN!
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Ah! The sound of a cheesy joke hitting dead center. π
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πΉπΉπΉπΉπΉπΉπΉπΉπΉπΉ!
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Thank you, thank you. I’m here all week. π
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Even aliens cannot resist pepporoni pizza with extra cheese. Earth is safe as long as we have pizza and cheese. Cariologists may find business in other planets and who knows galaxies.
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Haha! We need to start building ships to start shipping cardiologists out there. π
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Can’t say anything. Laughing too hard π
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Laughter is the best comment you can offer. Thanks much! π
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Very amusing story. I laughed. Glad the order was pizza.
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Glad to hear it. Thank you!
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Alien blackmail, where are we going to get all that extra cheese? How is that going to solve climate change?
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Well, the aliens are going to pay us, so maybe they’ll take away our politicians as payment? Then maybe we can solve some problems. π
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I hope they ordered a pickup, because a pizza place will take 40 minutes to deliver just a mile away, so I can’t imagine how long it would take them to deliver to a few dozen light years away.
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They did order pickup, but I understand Elon Musk has future delivery services in mind… π
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He can’t even deliver the Tesla 3 he promised.
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Oh what have we done? The idea of sanitising all our output is brilliantly horrific.
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Right? How many times can you watch It’s a Wonderful Life? I got to have my occasional Quentin Tarrantino fix. π
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Good choice pepperoni but I think after all that observation they should have gone for a half and half at least
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Personally, I would’ve gone with a mediterranean with gyro meat. Clearly they didn’t watch enough TV. π
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Amusing take. Good job!
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Thanks so much! π
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LOL! Good one! π
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Thank you kindly! π
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Haha! Good one.
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