Photo by: C.E. Ayr
Bryce guided his sailboat into the slip where his RV waited. The aliens had returned him as they promised, but he’d lived on alien worlds for so long he missed simple things like a good chili-cheese dog. He sighed, “Oh how I missed familiar food.”
Beside him the alien, Portomus, looked like a man with a wolf’s head. He said, “I will miss hunting my meals, but it’s good to be back on Earth and sampling the local cuisine.”
“Yeah, about that,” said Bryce. “I’m glad you like our local food, but let’s keep the cattle mutilations to a limit, okay?”
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Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2020/01/08/10-january-2020/
Author’s Notes:
My wife isn’t from this country. She’s from the Philippines. I can only imagine what it feels like to be in a foreign land where familiar and (usually) easily found food becomes rare, and hard to come by. I do try to help out with that by learning how to cook some of the food she grew up with.
By the same token, after visiting the Philippines several times now, some of the food there has become things I cannot live without. I wasn’t born and raised eating Dinuguan for instance, but I crave it just as much as I would any hamburger.
People are funny, right?
Dinuguan (pork blood stew)
EagleAye
Wait. The aliens have mastered interstellar travel but not respect for other living species?
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Hehe. It’s hardly unprecedented. We’ve mastered travel between the continents and lots of us still don’t know how to say ‘please’. 😉
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Travel between stars is a little more complicated, of course. I suspect any species that hasn’t outgrown its bloodlust never survives to master the necessary technology
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Well, that’s something interesting to think about. Does intelligence override natural impulse? Human beings are omnivores so we can survive on just plants if we need to. But have we overcome the impulse to eat meat? Seems not. Though we may not kill animals for food, our demand for meat still means someone has to do it. What if a creature that evolved on a pure meat diet developed space travel? Would that be impossible? If yes, why? Is the drive to eat meat somehow associated with lower intelligence? Isn’t it possible for a predatory species to keep living prey animals around to eat? Logistically, this could be a challenge, but we as omnivores may not feel such pressures since we can be quite content eating almost anything, bread alone if we must. Perhaps a hyper-predator might develop spaceflight slower because of dietary restrictions, but would that excluse them permanently?
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Dear Eric,
I would love to be a world traveler, just to sample the local cuisine. I believe I’d get on well in Japan since Sashimi and Sushi top my food faves list. I love the abundance of salad and amazing spices in Israel and India’s curries and dahls are amazing. See what you did? You sent me off on a dietary tangent.
Great story and very different take on alien abductions. The last line made me laugh out loud and glad I set my coffee down. Sorry, sir. No snorts or spews. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Haha! Shortly after writing this I had to dive into some Indian Palak Paneer. I did the same thing to myself. One of these days, I’ll catch you off-guard, and you’ll be snorting that coffee out your nose. I will never quit! 😉 Thanks so much Rochelle!
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Aw, Bryce is taking all the fun out of it for poor Portomus.
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No kidding. Maybe nobody would miss few goats here and there? 😉 Thanks much!
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Now you’ve got me craving a chili-cheese dog with onions.
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Just got my fill of chili-cheese dogs during the last NFL playff games. I’ll be craving it again soon, I’m sure. 😉 Thanks most kindly. 🙂
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Yup – as Russell says… (I gotta got find a cheese chili-dog for lunch now)! 🙂 On matters food, here in NZ we have a national dessert, the Pavlova. A soft meringue with hard crust topped with cream and fruit. And for years there was a fracas with Australia over who’d invented it, and was it named after Anna Pavlova? Our top archaeologist, Helen Leach, looked into it and discovered the first local reference in the 1920s, in the South Island town of Timaru. Since then we’ve discovered where it came from – the USA, where it evolved into lemon meringue pie… Which is a round-about way of wondering whether Portomus could be diverted from cows with a tasty dessert treat …?
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Haha! I’ll bet he could be lured into a tasty dessert, but only after a sampling of fresh lamb shank. 😉 I often wonder what we can call “American Food.” Not a lot of things, actually. Gumbo, to be sure. Even the American version of pizza is unique to us. Hot Dogs? Maybe, but then sausage is common to a lot of cultures. Someone tried to tell me stew was uniquely American. Doubt it. Cave men ate stew!
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I love to try local food when I travel. But I think it’s reasonable to do as the locals do That Portomus and his people reminds me of someone…
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Haha! No kidding. I do love sampling the local fare. I never love all of it, but I always do love some of it, and that’s a good thing. 🙂
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How is that alien going to get awawy with looking the way it does?
I lived abroad for a number of years and there are some foods I still miss.
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Holofield I expect, and a vocoder to disguise his voice. And yeah, you don’t have to live abroad for long before you have new favorite foods. Good to see you, Liz.
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Those cravings are real! Portomus just needs to be sensitive in how he acquires them. 🙂 Having spent some time in the Philippines, now I can’t get lumpias out of my mind. Also, when I lived in Hong Kong, a friend of mine used to make them for me because she knew I love them. Fun story!
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Haha! I know. Lumpia is like a little slice of heaven. Love them! Thanks so much for adding your thoughts. 🙂
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Good story and appreciate the afterword.
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Thanks most kindly! 🙂
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As one who loves to taste different cultures’ cuisines, I feel for these two… But. maybe not be quite so obvious…
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Totally relate. Thanks Dale! 😉
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Where ever I visit, trying the local produce and cuisine is important to me. Sadly I don’t travel well these days, so I often have to make do with ‘Black Pudding’, it contains pigs blood. Dinuguan sounds great to me. But then I again I just love most food.
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Hehe. I’ve never tried black pudding, but considering how much I love Dinuguan, I must try it. Good on you for trying out foods as much as you can.
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