The Toto Problem

Photo by: Dawn Miller

Brothers Evan and Bruce McCormick produced the first hyperspace drive in a red barn in Kansas. The first flight proved enormously successful; getting home was the problem. The controller, cobbled from Bruce’s Sega game system proved inadequate for control.

Evan gently pushed the tiny joystick throttle.

*Zzzt*

Icebergs. Not in Kansas.

*Zzzt*

African Savannah. Still, no.

*Zzzt*

A green field and a red barn lay before them. “We’re back in Kansas!” crowed Bruce.

“Let’s be sure,” said Evan. He leaned out the window to a stunned farmer. “Excuse me. Is this Greenville, Kansas?”

The farmer grimaced uncertainly, “Eh…Parlez vous Francais?
_____________________________
Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2020/02/19/21-february-2020/

Author’s Notes:

One of my favorite quotes comes from the pilot of an SR-71 — a plane capable of flying at Mach 3, or more than 2,000 miles per hour:
“You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.”
—(Paul F. Crickmore -test pilot)
https://www.strategypage.com/humor/articles/military_jokes_200533119.asp

And of course, the inspiration for this story’s title.

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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32 Responses to The Toto Problem

  1. Dear Eric,

    I get the distinct feeling, Bruce and Evan didn’t quite travel over the rainbow, but they’re definitely not in Kansas anymore. Love it. Hope they can get home in time to do chores…and return the barn to its rightful location. Love it. 😀

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Or maybe they did fly over the rainbow, like thirty-seven of them, considering all the territory they covered. They do make it home eventually, and the first thing they did is rebuild the controller! 😉 Thanks Rochelle!

      Like

  2. lol Definitely not in Kansas!

    Like

  3. Hah! Er – did Bruce and Evan stop long enough in France to enjoy a local meal of snails topped with fungus snuffled out from under tree roots? Sorry, I mean ‘escargot and truffles’. Hope they made it back to Kansas OK!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Nobbinmaug says:

    I’d take France over Kansas any day.

    This reminds me of Quantum Leap with Sam Beckett (No relation.) hoping each leap will be the leap home.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hah! That’s funny. I sure didn’t see the last line coming. Well done!

    Like

  6. draliman says:

    I think at some point they’re going to have to park up and take the bus 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. msjadeli says:

    I foresee many adventures on their horizon. I enjoy the humor of this tale.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. They definitely need a new controller. A really fun story!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. bearmkwa says:

    Love that ending. Laughter ensues. Someday, I’ll have to go to Kansas just so I can ask the question. LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. James McEwan says:

    They they returned to different version of time and dimension in Kansas, (Champs). The French had expunged all other nationalities from the New World – now known as The United Republic of Orleans.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. List of X says:

    How can you be lost at Mach 3? At worst, you’re a couple of hours away from the nearest continent.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Yeah, but which continent, and is it friendly airspace? And if you’re already lost, which way to the nearest continent? Too many variables, and not nearly enough fuel.

      Like

  12. Amusing vignette, I enjoyed it

    Liked by 1 person

  13. susanmehr says:

    At least they stopped to ask for directions. Liked the story, great work.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Dale says:

    You know, these errors in judgment are the perfect opportunity to see the world…Too funny, Eric!
    Snails au chocolat? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  15. granonine says:

    What a fun story! So I guess that farmer’s answer would have been, “Non!”

    Liked by 1 person

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