Photo by: Jeff Arnold
A young office worker, following the shelter-in-place order, chatted with remote friends.
OW: I’ve binge-watched the entire Cheers and Friends series. What next?
FRIEND1: Don’t know. Boredom is killing me!
FRIEND2: Practicing my drums. Neighbor threatened to shoot me.
OW: I guess there’s always Game of Thrones.
FRIEND2: Dudes, DO NOT mix ice cream and beer!
OW: Critical moment, guys. I’m running out of toilet paper.
FRIEND1: Anybody know how to get a billiard ball out of your mouth?
Meanwhile, in the apartment below, a writer messaged a friend.
WRITER: This is so AWESOME. I finally have time to write!
_____________________________
Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2020/03/25/27-march-2020/
Stay safe out there, folks. Wash your hands.
Oh, and seriously, don’t mix ice cream and beer, unless you like puking everywhere.
And by the way, you cannot get a billiard ball out of your mouth. It had to be surgically removed. Something about the curvature of your teeth. The moral is, never put one in your mouth in the first place!
EagleAye
what a wonderful day in the neighborhood. being a writer has its up sides.
is that from personal experience — the b.ball?
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Haha! No, but I used to play billiards a lot. A common joke was challenging someone to put a billiard ball in their mouth. Sure, almost anybody can do it, but you can’t pull it back out.
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Dear Eric,
I relate so well with the last line. Truthfully not a lot has changed at the Fields’ house. Except I can’t go swimming. 😦 Good luck with that billiard ball, FRIEND1 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Same here. It’s business as usual. No trips to the pub, though. *sigh* 😉
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Stay safe out there, Eric. Surround your girls with lots of love ❤
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I certainly will. Take care of you and the family too. 🙂
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LOL! Clever story. And thanks for the billiard ball tip.
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Thanks so much! 🙂
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Obviously ice cream goes better with port. Or maybe sherry.
And I’m totally with you: the terrors of isolation depend heavily on one’s ideal lifestyle!
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I rememer eating ice cream wih creme de menthe. That was yummy. And yeah, different folks are handling the isolation differently. My niece and her husband are making the most outrageous videos. Can’t say that’s all bad. 😉
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The isolation experience depends so heavily on who you’re isolated with. I’ve been talking (remotely, of course) with many friends who “get to” be home with their spouse and children, but also “have to” be home with their spouse and children. Mixed blessing. I feel lucky that it’s just me and my cat here: lots of cuddles and affection, no extra responsibility for home schooling her, and no arguing over how to spend our time. Well, no more than usual. 🙂
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I suspect your cat usually wins such discussions. 😉
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Yep, it’s true! Like right now, I think it’s time to go eat dinner but she thinks it’s still time for her to be sprawled out sleeping on my lap in the office.
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Exactly, that’s the silver lining for us
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Absolutely! 🙂
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Isolation – the writer’s dream! Now nobody is going outside, I feel more normal 🙂
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Haha! Me too, except, I kinda like the quiet time, while my neighbors may be struggling. 😉
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I had to laugh while reading your story. Very well done and it so wonderfully illustrates that there is no view without a viewer. Owie, I hope you’re joking about the billiard ball!
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Well, a laugh is the whole idea. Glad you found one. I never personally did the billiard ball thing, but I’ve heard plenty of stories. It’s no joke. Only surgery gets it out. Yikes!
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Yep.
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I bet none of these people (including the writer) have small kids at home. I barely had time to watch YouTube for a total of two hours in the last two weeks, and that was only while doing the dishes.
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Yep. I do have a small child at home. I can totally relate.
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I love that conversation. What I would really like to know is why on earth anyone would put a billiard ball in his mouth 🙂
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Haha! It’s usually just a mean trick. Wait til a guy gets god and drunk, then claim he can’t put the billiard ball in his mouth. Of course he can, most people can, but no one can get it back out, and that’s the whole object. That’s just plain mean, right?
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Uh, yeah–and possibly quite dangerous, too. Glad no one ever suggested that to me–I can see myself trying it 🙂
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By the way, I’m currently reading “The Huralon Incident” on my Kindle. Wonderful imagination, and the story gets more interesting as I go, getting used to the different names, places, and terms. I’m not a great fan of sci-fi, usually, but this one has tickled my latent sci-fi nerve 🙂
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Oh, that’s just wonderful to hear! I wish you could see me now, because I’m glowing from the inside out. 🙂
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Aww, glad to give you a warm fuzzy 🙂
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Conversation is so crucial in this crisis, but mixing beer and ice cream, that is one step to far🙂
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It is, even if it’s remote. And yeah, ice cream and beer is bad juju. Did that once. Never again!
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Thanks for the tip about the billiard ball. I was seriously considering putting one in my mouth until I read this. Instead I’m trying to see if I can swallow a pool stick. But I’m not bored or anything. Got any suggestions about how to get it out once you swallow it?
Randy
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Haha! I do have an idea, but you’ll have to buy a couple boxes of laxative… 😉 😀
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Really? For a pool stick. I could see that, maybe, to get the chalk out, but for a pool stick I thought I could bend over and you could just pull it out. Be a friend, eh?
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😀 Ew! Ew! 😀
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Ha! Ha! Perhaps all writers need some social distancing in order to be productive.
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I think you’re right. We’re naturally isolationists, until we need fresh ideas. Then we go out there, mingle, and observe the human condition. Then we write about it, and have a good laugh at humanity’s expense. 😉
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I don’t care what they say; Time is a greater commodity than toilet paper. Fun read.
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Words of wisdom! I may print that out and frame it. Glad you enjoyed. Thanks!
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This reminded me of a conversation with my daughter. She was growing cress and I suggested she could use kitchen or toilet paper as a medium instead of soil.
You must be kidding, she said, kitchen and toilet paper is worth more than diamonds.
Well, I thought, I’ve been flushing away a fortune all my life.
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Hahaha! That’s a great story. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
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Fun stuff, Eric. Honestly, the things people do… billiard ball in your mouth is a stupid thing to do…
And there is a silver lining in all this crazy. More than one, actually. Once people stop whining about their restrictions and focus on the possibilities or opportunities, it will make this situation endurable (and eradicate it all the quicker!)
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Thank you! I totally agree. This “new normal” may be strange but it has benefits. What’s wrong with taking a hike or a bike ride versus getting plastered at the pub? We were just now out visiting a lovely patch of wildflowers and collecting them into a bouquet for oung Hannah. We had a great time. Maybe this tragedy is steering us in the right direction.
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Yes I think it is up to us to keep up these good habits. It is our choice on how we move forward
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Writers never have an excuse to be bored. It’s writer’s block that’s the real threat.
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