Sheltering In Place

Photo by: Jeff Arnold

A young office worker, following the shelter-in-place order, chatted with remote friends.

OW: I’ve binge-watched the entire Cheers and Friends series. What next?

FRIEND1: Don’t know. Boredom is killing me!

FRIEND2: Practicing my drums. Neighbor threatened to shoot me.

OW: I guess there’s always Game of Thrones.

FRIEND2: Dudes, DO NOT mix ice cream and beer!

OW: Critical moment, guys. I’m running out of toilet paper.

FRIEND1: Anybody know how to get a billiard ball out of your mouth?

Meanwhile, in the apartment below, a writer messaged a friend.

WRITER: This is so AWESOME. I finally have time to write!
_____________________________

Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2020/03/25/27-march-2020/

Stay safe out there, folks. Wash your hands.

Oh, and seriously, don’t mix ice cream and beer, unless you like puking everywhere.

And by the way, you cannot get a billiard ball out of your mouth. It had to be surgically removed. Something about the curvature of your teeth. The moral is, never put one in your mouth in the first place!

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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44 Responses to Sheltering In Place

  1. Anonymous says:

    what a wonderful day in the neighborhood. being a writer has its up sides.
    is that from personal experience — the b.ball?

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha! No, but I used to play billiards a lot. A common joke was challenging someone to put a billiard ball in their mouth. Sure, almost anybody can do it, but you can’t pull it back out.

      Like

  2. Dear Eric,

    I relate so well with the last line. Truthfully not a lot has changed at the Fields’ house. Except I can’t go swimming. 😦 Good luck with that billiard ball, FRIEND1 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lyn says:

    Stay safe out there, Eric. Surround your girls with lots of love ❤

    Like

  4. LOL! Clever story. And thanks for the billiard ball tip.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Joy Pixley says:

    Obviously ice cream goes better with port. Or maybe sherry.

    And I’m totally with you: the terrors of isolation depend heavily on one’s ideal lifestyle!

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      I rememer eating ice cream wih creme de menthe. That was yummy. And yeah, different folks are handling the isolation differently. My niece and her husband are making the most outrageous videos. Can’t say that’s all bad. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • Joy Pixley says:

        The isolation experience depends so heavily on who you’re isolated with. I’ve been talking (remotely, of course) with many friends who “get to” be home with their spouse and children, but also “have to” be home with their spouse and children. Mixed blessing. I feel lucky that it’s just me and my cat here: lots of cuddles and affection, no extra responsibility for home schooling her, and no arguing over how to spend our time. Well, no more than usual. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • EagleAye says:

        I suspect your cat usually wins such discussions. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • Joy Pixley says:

        Yep, it’s true! Like right now, I think it’s time to go eat dinner but she thinks it’s still time for her to be sprawled out sleeping on my lap in the office.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Exactly, that’s the silver lining for us

    Liked by 1 person

  7. draliman says:

    Isolation – the writer’s dream! Now nobody is going outside, I feel more normal 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. msjadeli says:

    I had to laugh while reading your story. Very well done and it so wonderfully illustrates that there is no view without a viewer. Owie, I hope you’re joking about the billiard ball!

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Well, a laugh is the whole idea. Glad you found one. I never personally did the billiard ball thing, but I’ve heard plenty of stories. It’s no joke. Only surgery gets it out. Yikes!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. List of X says:

    I bet none of these people (including the writer) have small kids at home. I barely had time to watch YouTube for a total of two hours in the last two weeks, and that was only while doing the dishes.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. granonine says:

    I love that conversation. What I would really like to know is why on earth anyone would put a billiard ball in his mouth 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha! It’s usually just a mean trick. Wait til a guy gets god and drunk, then claim he can’t put the billiard ball in his mouth. Of course he can, most people can, but no one can get it back out, and that’s the whole object. That’s just plain mean, right?

      Liked by 1 person

  11. granonine says:

    By the way, I’m currently reading “The Huralon Incident” on my Kindle. Wonderful imagination, and the story gets more interesting as I go, getting used to the different names, places, and terms. I’m not a great fan of sci-fi, usually, but this one has tickled my latent sci-fi nerve 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Mike says:

    Conversation is so crucial in this crisis, but mixing beer and ice cream, that is one step to far🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Thanks for the tip about the billiard ball. I was seriously considering putting one in my mouth until I read this. Instead I’m trying to see if I can swallow a pool stick. But I’m not bored or anything. Got any suggestions about how to get it out once you swallow it?

    Randy

    Like

  14. subroto says:

    Ha! Ha! Perhaps all writers need some social distancing in order to be productive.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      I think you’re right. We’re naturally isolationists, until we need fresh ideas. Then we go out there, mingle, and observe the human condition. Then we write about it, and have a good laugh at humanity’s expense. 😉

      Like

  15. James McEwan says:

    I don’t care what they say; Time is a greater commodity than toilet paper. Fun read.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. James McEwan says:

    This reminded me of a conversation with my daughter. She was growing cress and I suggested she could use kitchen or toilet paper as a medium instead of soil.
    You must be kidding, she said, kitchen and toilet paper is worth more than diamonds.
    Well, I thought, I’ve been flushing away a fortune all my life.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Dale says:

    Fun stuff, Eric. Honestly, the things people do… billiard ball in your mouth is a stupid thing to do…
    And there is a silver lining in all this crazy. More than one, actually. Once people stop whining about their restrictions and focus on the possibilities or opportunities, it will make this situation endurable (and eradicate it all the quicker!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Thank you! I totally agree. This “new normal” may be strange but it has benefits. What’s wrong with taking a hike or a bike ride versus getting plastered at the pub? We were just now out visiting a lovely patch of wildflowers and collecting them into a bouquet for oung Hannah. We had a great time. Maybe this tragedy is steering us in the right direction.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Nobbinmaug says:

    Writers never have an excuse to be bored. It’s writer’s block that’s the real threat.

    Like

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