The Strongest Defense

Photo by: Roger Bultot

Brzilit’Ang walked with his bags up the stairs to his apartment. He stripped out of his human shell and unfurled ten tentacles. At the hyperspace signalling computer, he sent a message to the invasion fleet:

Earth defenses still too powerful. Delay imperative.

That done, Brzilit’Ang opened the bag full of various human alcohols. In truth, the invasion fleet could overrun Earth in a New York minute, but Earth did have a strong defense: a dizzying array of wonderful drinks to sample.

He picked up a bottle of Jagermeister. Oh yes, Earth would be too hardy to attack for many decades to come.
_______________________________________
Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2021/03/03/3-march-2021/

Author’s Notes:

Just in case, you’re unfamiliar: Jagermeister is a crazy-tasting booze, not unlike cough-syrup, popular with those unfamiliar with alcohol and common at college suarees. When I was far younger, you were cool if you had drank Jagermeister.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C3%A4germeister

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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26 Responses to The Strongest Defense

  1. neilmacdon says:

    A very human reaction

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Lyn says:

    The doctor says I have very bad congestion and can’t attend lectures until I’ve completed my double course of cough syrup 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I used to sell Jagermeister shots and cocktails in my pub. I couldn’t understand why people liked them – perhaps they were aliens!

    My story!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. granonine says:

    Never thought about using alcohol to fend off a conquering army. Although George Washington must have had a pretty good idea that his enemies would be quite drunk Christmas Eve 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ahtdoucette says:

    Yep, nothing like kicking back, unfurling those tentacles and having a nice, stiff drink. Cheers, Brzilit’Ang! Thanks for a really fun read. Great use of language and humor.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. James McEwan says:

    Perhaps he thinks he is keeping the invasion force safe from the downfall of mixing with humans. Sounds like his kind are easily persuaded and they would fall foul of any alcoholic drink.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I recommend supplying this dude with a steady stream of booze. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Dear Eric,

    No coffee spewed. 😉 Or Jägermeister for that matter. I can imagine him shedding his outer human shell. Entertaining as always.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  9. draliman says:

    He’s gone native! Reminds me of Aziraphale and Crowley out of Good Omens!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. There’s certainly are many human “alcohols” to keep the invasion fleet at bay for a really long time. Very clever story, tentacles and all. I loved it!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. A new version of having a hollow leg X 10. Wonderfully fun piece!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. msjadeli says:

    My new favorite ET. I’m familiar with Jag. It tastes best ice cold, with Red Bull. Great story, EA!

    Liked by 1 person

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