Photo by: Roger Bultot
Brzilit’Ang walked with his bags up the stairs to his apartment. He stripped out of his human shell and unfurled ten tentacles. At the hyperspace signalling computer, he sent a message to the invasion fleet:
Earth defenses still too powerful. Delay imperative.
That done, Brzilit’Ang opened the bag full of various human alcohols. In truth, the invasion fleet could overrun Earth in a New York minute, but Earth did have a strong defense: a dizzying array of wonderful drinks to sample.
He picked up a bottle of Jagermeister. Oh yes, Earth would be too hardy to attack for many decades to come.
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Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2021/03/03/3-march-2021/
Author’s Notes:
Just in case, you’re unfamiliar: Jagermeister is a crazy-tasting booze, not unlike cough-syrup, popular with those unfamiliar with alcohol and common at college suarees. When I was far younger, you were cool if you had drank Jagermeister.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C3%A4germeister
EagleAye
A very human reaction
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Perhaps we have more in common with the aliens than we realize. 😉
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The doctor says I have very bad congestion and can’t attend lectures until I’ve completed my double course of cough syrup 😀
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I used to sell Jagermeister shots and cocktails in my pub. I couldn’t understand why people liked them – perhaps they were aliens!
My story!
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No doubt. I used to drink it to please my friends. Too much like cough syrup for my tastes. So, aliens it is! 😉
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Never thought about using alcohol to fend off a conquering army. Although George Washington must have had a pretty good idea that his enemies would be quite drunk Christmas Eve 🙂
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Ben Franklin was known for his drinking habits. Perhaps he knew more about the enemy than is documented? 😉
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Well, he sure knew a lot about a lot of things!
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Yep, nothing like kicking back, unfurling those tentacles and having a nice, stiff drink. Cheers, Brzilit’Ang! Thanks for a really fun read. Great use of language and humor.
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Thanks so much for the kind words! Glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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Perhaps he thinks he is keeping the invasion force safe from the downfall of mixing with humans. Sounds like his kind are easily persuaded and they would fall foul of any alcoholic drink.
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That may indeed be the case. Poor soul, cursed to live out his days, sacrificing for his people… 😉
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I recommend supplying this dude with a steady stream of booze. 😉
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No kidding. All he wants. There’s a neverending list of mixed drinks too. 😉
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LOL
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Dear Eric,
No coffee spewed. 😉 Or Jägermeister for that matter. I can imagine him shedding his outer human shell. Entertaining as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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One of these days, I’ll get you! 😉 I haven’t tried Jagermeister in years. I had enough in my youth. Glad you had fun. Cheers! 🙂
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He’s gone native! Reminds me of Aziraphale and Crowley out of Good Omens!
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Ha! I have the book, and loved the miniseries. Yep, just like that. Perhaps I was inspired?
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There’s certainly are many human “alcohols” to keep the invasion fleet at bay for a really long time. Very clever story, tentacles and all. I loved it!
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So glad to hear that. My pleasure as always. 🙂
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A new version of having a hollow leg X 10. Wonderfully fun piece!
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Haha! With so many hollow, you can be sure he can hold his liquor. Thanks so much! 🙂
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My new favorite ET. I’m familiar with Jag. It tastes best ice cold, with Red Bull. Great story, EA!
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Thanks so much! He’s my fave too. 😉
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You’re most welcome, EA 🙂
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