Fat and Juicy

In an old Chinatown lab, Arleigh said, “This Universal Translator is incredible.”

A turkey wandering the lab said, “Gobble-gobble.”

The translator beeped and intoned, “More food!”

Preston held up a device. “That’s nothing. This Genifier will switch on the ancient genes of any organism. Soon we’ll have a bigger, fat and juicy turkey for Thanksgiving. Now the setting.”

“Not for 65-million,” warned Arleigh. “We don’t want a T-Rex.”

“Do I look stupid? 20-million, of course.”

“Wait, there’s still…”


In the turkey’s place stood an eight-foot tall Terror Bird. It gazed at them and squawked.

 The translator intoned, “Mmm. Fat and juicy!”


Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2021/11/24/26-november-2021/

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who celebrates it. 

Author’s Notes:

Terror Birds: “Phorusrhacids, colloquially known as terror birds, are an extinct clade of large carnivorous flightless birds that were one of the largest species of apex predators in South America during the Cenozoic era; their conventionally accepted temporal range covers from 62 to 1.8 million years (Ma) ago…They ranged in height from 1 to 3 m (3 to 10 ft).”


About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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13 Responses to Fat and Juicy

  1. Hee hee… I presume the Terror Bird didn’t wait for the mashed potatoes, stuffing etc to be ready? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. James McEwan says:

    Seems like there a few flaws with the Universal Translator.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ahh, the Paracrax – these are the possible cause for the Thunderbird legend aren’t they? Great story I loved this


  4. michael1148humphris says:



  5. GHLearner says:

    That is poetic justice. Great story.


  6. Bill says:

    I love (not) those people who ask, “what does this button do?” as they simultaneously press to find out. It sounds like Preston was such a frustrating fool. Nicely done.


  7. Dear Eric,

    Guess who’s coming to (be) dinner? I did snort…but it’s evening. No coffee and I set my wine aside. 😉



    Liked by 1 person

  8. draliman says:

    It’s always nice to know what the predator is saying before it eats you.


  9. Bear says:

    The Turkey’s revenge… I LOVE it! AHaAHAHAHa! Great story! Happy Thanksgiving!


  10. Lyn says:

    Just goes to prove, NEVER mess around with nature. 😄


  11. jerrilsan says:

    Very nicely done! People really should watch more National Geographic… and I don’t mean the reality TV shows


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