Tag Archives: Dark Humor

Fertilizer

The ivy, growing outside the abandoned building, turned to the trumpet vine and said, “At first I thought this was a mistake.” “Why?” said the trumpet vine. “The intelligent plants growing inside are thriving, and will soon take over the … Continue reading

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The Euphemism

The small Caribbean island no longer had human residents. All that remained was a team of scientists. They sat in an armored shelter overlooking the site. Dr. Ewan Johnson watched through binoculars and carefully took notes as the helicopter flew … Continue reading

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Priorities

Director Mobry parked on the modest street where Thomas J. Bird worked in Manchester. Mobry couldn’t understand why Bird insisted on working at his humble neighborhood flat, but the Supra-Genius worked that way, so he got his way. Mobry walked … Continue reading

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The Silver Lining

Keith and Aubry saw it happen whilst standing on the shore of Lake Erie. Watching the city of Detroit die was curiously beautiful, a sunset at 3:17 in the afternoon. Luckily, scientists provided enough warning. They saw the hundred-meter asteroid … Continue reading

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The Terrible Odds

“Xander Montreau was a brilliant stuntman, you know,” said James Miller. The performer’s agent sniffed sadly. Looking at the pedestrian bridge that crossed over the railroad tracks, Detective Art Zampesi said, “What happened?” “He vowed to jump from the bridge … Continue reading

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Really Really Big

Feeley whistled when he gazed upon the massive edifice of stone. It rose three stories easily. “Yes,” said Warwick. “We built this as a safe haven for whenever the alien walkers attack.” Feeley nodded solemnly. The alien Farnuche fielded war … Continue reading

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A Safe Place

Mark and Anita marveled at the forests of the planet, Darwin IV. The plant life grew huge and in stunning variety. Up until recently, few people even knew about the backwater colony. Desperate financial straits for the primarily Australian settlers … Continue reading

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The 13th Mistake

“She meant nothing!” blubbered Norman, struggling against the ropes. “And the other twelve?” said Felicity. She brandished a cleaver. “Your fickle, cheating head is destroying our marriage.” “You’re decapitating me?” Felicity smiled sweetly. “Oh, I’m not removing that head.” _________________________________ … Continue reading

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Doing A Body Good

I watched the vulture looking at me hungrily as I lay on the ground bleeding and injured. I would die as I lay broken in the desert of Arizona. The medical nanites in me, that I invented, could insure I … Continue reading

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Pep Talk

Warren was climbing the guardrail on the bridge when Henry found him. Henry said, “Dude! Your life is worth something. It’s can’t be that bad.” Warren shot back, “Oh really? When I joined in ISIS in Syria I thought it … Continue reading

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