Tag Archives: Funny

Necessary Things

Randy sat beside a blanket with assorted objects he hoped to sell. The small business supported him pretty well through his homelessness. He’d been drug-free for five years, but now he wondered if those years eating magic mushrooms was coming … Continue reading

Posted in Short Fiction | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

The Obvious Faux-pas

Elaine loved shopping at Down Island Traders. Despite the rustic exterior, everyone in the “in-crowd” shopped there. As she entered, she stopped, shocked by what she saw. The woman sitting at a table with a latte obviously had antennae, and … Continue reading

Posted in Short Fiction, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 47 Comments

The Measure of an Alien

The first known human-alien amalgamation occurred in Roanoke, VA in 1879. The wealthy widow, Imelda Pitts, had been wooed by bachelors from across the county, desiring her mostly for her money. The men organized demonstrations of physical strength before her … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Tourists

Tourists “I think his communication skills were poor,” said Pol’Hy’Stin. His antennae flit back and forth, tasting the air. “It must be,” agreed Gol’Na’Shul. “We’ve had no trouble at all.” Pol’Hy’Stin returned from taking yet another picture with fellow tourists. … Continue reading

Posted in Short Fiction | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

Tank Design

Combat reporter Bryce Monoghan peered between the train cars. At five-kilometers he could easily see the thirty-meter tall, alien walking war machine. “Aren’t you terrified?” he said. Lieutenant Cohen said, “No. Why?” “Well, it’s huge, imposing, threatening.” “Yep. It’s very … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

Critical Equipment

Jennylyn found the package outside the lab. She brought it in, wondering what it was. Professor Blumquist was elated. “At last! The very thing I need to combat this pandemic,” said Blumquist. As the new lab assistant, Jennylyn still wasn’t … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Know Your Eggs

Police warning tape encircled the small park. Detective Prine and Police Sergeant Hadwell looked over the grisly scene. “According to witnesses,” said Hadwell, flipping through his notebook. “Monsieur Penoit was making an exotic omelette for a party.” Prine placed hands … Continue reading

Posted in Short Fiction | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Growth Spurt

Jeanie saw her grandson’s feet on the ladder outside, and decided she’d had enough. She had to say something. She rang up, Patricia, Brian’s mom. “Hi mom! Is Brian enjoying his summer with you?” “He’s cleaning windows,” said Jeanie. “But … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

Hot Air

Stephen, the balloon pilot, stepped out and kissed the ground. The balloon’s burners*, providing hot air, had failed and they began crashing to the ground. Yet, they landed safely after all. Susie, the chief ground handler, rushed up. “I thought … Continue reading

Posted in Short Fiction | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

A Rare Commodity

Mika ate the last bite. “Best tuna sandwich ever! But still, $500 is too much.” “I know,” said Bill. “But there’s chipping charges. It had to be shipped into Earth orbit.” “Yeah.” “Then through the hypergate to Ross 154. And … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments