Tag Archives: Funny

An Unreported Affect

As I stared at my own reflection in the window, I took pity on him. Of course, he didn’t reflect anything at all. “It must be frustrating,” I said. “Stuck like that.” “You have no idea,” said the cloud of … Continue reading

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The Hard Life

My interview with famed monster killer, Gepard Baptiste, proved quite bizarre. Often, he paused to shoot out the cafe window, killing slobbering beasts with too many mouths, tentacles, and bat wings. “It’s a hard life,” said Baptiste, devouring a spoonful … Continue reading

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The Strangest Case

FBI agents Dunbar and McKinney stood on the dock near the boat in question. The pizza deliveryman had long since fled his bicycle in terror. After the deliveryman’s outrageous claims, the two X-File cases agents had been dispatched . Both … Continue reading

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The Workaround

Beside the door, a string of garlic hung. An older woman answered the door. “Yes?” “Good evening!” said Bill. “I’m Bill. This is Joseph. Can we interest you in home security?” “It’s nighttime!” “Never too late for security, madame. May … Continue reading

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Necessary Things

Randy sat beside a blanket with assorted objects he hoped to sell. The small business supported him pretty well through his homelessness. He’d been drug-free for five years, but now he wondered if those years eating magic mushrooms was coming … Continue reading

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The Obvious Faux-pas

Elaine loved shopping at Down Island Traders. Despite the rustic exterior, everyone in the “in-crowd” shopped there. As she entered, she stopped, shocked by what she saw. The woman sitting at a table with a latte obviously had antennae, and … Continue reading

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The Measure of an Alien

The first known human-alien amalgamation occurred in Roanoke, VA in 1879. The wealthy widow, Imelda Pitts, had been wooed by bachelors from across the county, desiring her mostly for her money. The men organized demonstrations of physical strength before her … Continue reading

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Tourists

Tourists “I think his communication skills were poor,” said Pol’Hy’Stin. His antennae flit back and forth, tasting the air. “It must be,” agreed Gol’Na’Shul. “We’ve had no trouble at all.” Pol’Hy’Stin returned from taking yet another picture with fellow tourists. … Continue reading

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Tank Design

Combat reporter Bryce Monoghan peered between the train cars. At five-kilometers he could easily see the thirty-meter tall, alien walking war machine. “Aren’t you terrified?” he said. Lieutenant Cohen said, “No. Why?” “Well, it’s huge, imposing, threatening.” “Yep. It’s very … Continue reading

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Critical Equipment

Jennylyn found the package outside the lab. She brought it in, wondering what it was. Professor Blumquist was elated. “At last! The very thing I need to combat this pandemic,” said Blumquist. As the new lab assistant, Jennylyn still wasn’t … Continue reading

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