Written for the Friday Fictioneers. A story, about a disastrous first date, begins after the photo.
Genre: Romance/Humor
Photo by: Melanie Greenwood
Wonderful Rhythm
Jack pointed at the table and chairs. “It happened right there,” he smiled.
“Our first date,” grinned Annette.
“You had a pimple.”
“Your suit was rumpled.”
“You showed me your watch.”
“…Then the runaway ambulance jumped the curb and hit you.”
Jack winced. “But I knew you loved me already, because you visited me in the hospital.”
“I wanted my watch back.”
“Oh. You loved that watch.”
“It ticked a wonderful rhythm.”
“You weren’t in love then?” sighed Jack.
“Not yet.”
“I thought when you put your head on my chest…”
“I felt sorry.”
“Oh.”
“Then I realized…your heart beats this wonderful rhythm.”
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Every week, the Friday Fictioneers meet at a cafe in Boston to eat octopus and pineapple pizza (not really), and imagine flash fiction stories from a photo prompt. Look here to find the other stories inspired the photo above: http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/10/29/31-october-2014/
EagleAye
Momus News 
Awwww….<3!
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Thank you! 🙂
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So sweet.
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Thank you kindly! 🙂
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I hate to repeat a comment, but Awwww! Lovely.
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Thank you! I was hoping for that reaction. 🙂
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*sniff* that was beautiful *sniff* 🙂
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Something different to keep you on your toes. 😉 Thanks much, Courtney! 🙂
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I’ll go with*sniff, sniff* too, but don’t tell anyone. 😯
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😉
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Hehe. No problem. It’ll stay a secret. 😉 Thanks much!
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Oh, what a beautiful ending! 🙂
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Thank you kindly! I appreciate that. 🙂
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This is exactly the way that lovers repeat their stories to each other. Nicely written.
Claire
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Thanks Claire! I’m glad it had a believable feel to it. Thanks for the visit! 🙂
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This is a sweet story 🙂 Nicely done.
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Much appreciated. Thanks! 🙂
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Awww… that was beautiful, Eric. I could hear them talking so clearly.
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Thanks so much, Lyn! I’m glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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Loved the “I want my Watch back”. Normally a male response and then the falling in love, but a good twist..
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Hehe. She was quite frank with him, but she lifted him back up at the end. Glad you enjoyed the twist, and thanks very much for the visit, Rajesh! 🙂
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Oh, this is so sweet. Who knew you were so romantic? Took me by surprise, nice work.
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Thank you! I like to keep surprises handy and bring them out once in a while. 😉
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Sweet twist. Nice story.
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Thank you! Glad you liked it, Indira. 🙂
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Change of pace for you?
DJ
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Yeah. Once in a while I like to do something different.
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That was a beautiful story, best I’ve read so far.
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Thank you so much! *blush blush* Glad to hear it. 🙂
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True love with a great misdirected dialogue. Fun. Randy
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Hehe. I’d hoped people would enjoy the misdirection. Glad you had fun. Thanks much! 🙂
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Dear Eric,
I think this might be one of your best ever. So sweet and funny in its simplicity. Love it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you, Rochelle! I really appreciate the kind words. I’m glad to hear it worked so well for you. 🙂
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Clever dialogue. It has a wonderful rhythm too.
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Hehe. Thank you, Margaret. I appreciate that! 🙂
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Eric, Sweet story with a lovely happy ending. Well written. 🙂 — Susan
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Thanks, Susan! I’m glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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