Friday Fictioneers – 4/12/2013
Genre: Humor
100 Words
Omni Plow
“Gracious, Lord Hinton! What IS it?”
“The pinnacle of agricultural technology, Mr. Pitcairn. It’s the Omni Plow.”
“Good lord. What does it do?”
“Why it does everything. It’s a plow, a tractor, a tool kit, a survival kit. It contains the tools to repair itself and other implements. With this, today’s farmers could spend days at time out in the field without the time-wasting necessity to return home.”
“Your saying farmers wouldn’t need to go home to the loving arms of their wives, the smiles of their children, the bliss of a home cooked meal, nor warmth of their bed?”
“Exactly.”
“Sold any?”
“Not one bloody unit!”
EagleAye
Momus News 
Dear E. A.
First and foremost, welcome to Friday Fictioneers. You’ll find that we’re a friendly, if not quirky group. I think you’ll fit in quite well.
I enjoyed your story. I can’t imagine why Lord Hinton’s invention isn’t selling. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you so much, Rochelle. I’ve been looking forward to joining in on the fun.
If you don’t mind my asking a quickie question. Is their voting or something involved now? And if so, how is that done?
Cheers!
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No voting. Not contests. There are enough of those out there. It’s just the fun of connecting with other writers around the world. We post our stories and then go to as many as you want to read and comment on. Great fun and highly addictive.
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Most cool. I’m already poking around and getting addicted. There’s some brilliant minds here.
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Hoping one you’ll read is mine. 😉
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I read yours first, of course! It started things off exceptionally.
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Hmm, sometimes function isn’t as great as form, as in the form of a good woman. Stay in the field? I think not! Nicely done.
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Exactly. I’d rather an evening with my wife than one with a cold machine. That’s a no-brainer!
Thanks!
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Welcome, E. A. I enjoyed your story. I see that this invention was the Swiss army knife of its time! It could do everything. Good job!
janet
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Thanks Janet! Lord Hinton was quite the visionary of machines, if not people. 😉
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A good read!
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Thank you!
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Realism grips hard…I like this very much for the sales talk, and the bitter truth..
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Thanks. An inventor must know his target audience, eh?
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Hello and welcome — That was a nice twist.
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Thank you very much! It’s good to be here.
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I can just hear their voices. Great read.
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Much appreciated.
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Nice debut! And I can’t imagine why it wouldn’t sell. 🙂 Welcome.
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Shocking isn’t it? 😉 And thanks, it’s good to be here.
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Cheeky story 🙂 nice one 🙂
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Thanks awfully!
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This was brilliant, I laughed aloud to this one getting funny looks from my daughter. For some reason this put me in mind of the good old Sinclair C5!
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Most cool. I was thinking of something like a Morgan, and then I saw something like plow blades beneath the source pic. Changed everything. I’d rather have a Sinclair, I think. More fun.
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I missed those, that’s why there where three plough references this week! 🙂
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Yeah. Either they’re plough blades or part of some high tech gizmo. May be this was an early machine created by Q for Mr. Bond.
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🙂
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Didn’t realise this was your first time! Welcome aboard, I’m a veteran of six campaigns now and I am glad not to be ‘the new kid’ any more!
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Thank you, sir! Any words of wisdom for the new recruit?
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I don’t think so, you look like you’ve already had officer training so this private will just salute!
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A Private after 6 campaigns? I should think you’re a Sergeant by now.
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I forget to follow orders. 🙂
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On man that was priceless – good start I’m just new here too, my second run at it 🙂 Funny the folks here at FF seem to get ruffled at any story that doesn’t ooze praise for the trike. I don’t think they’d sell many up my way either but there ya go. It’s certainly a conversation piece.
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Thank you. Well it’s certainly fascinating to look at at. Mass production of something like that would be mighty pricey though.
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Eagle firstly welcome to the FF, you have commenced brilliantly. I was a Sales Rep in years past…and this made me laugh… prompt…push…even though you know it’s crap. 😉
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Thanks, Ramblings. I guess you’re familiar with polishing up a turd and selling the high points.
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Oh that I am Eagle… but thankfully my ‘Rep’ days are behind me now, it’s hard having to throw the BS day in and day out 🙂
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Great imagination in this one. Love it.
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You’re so kind. Thanks.
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Too funny! Welcome to Friday Fictioneers – I look forward to reading more of your work.
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Glad you liked it, and thanks.
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Ha ha… very entertaining…!
Crisp, clean and funny… Just what I like..! 🙂
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Cool. Glad you liked it.
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Haha! Awesome job on this, efficient and funny! I might have to try this sometime, looks fun!
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You should Ryan. You’d be surprised what inspiration can come from a photo
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Thanks, dude. Yeah try it, it’s good fun.
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Does it also cook food and provide female companionship? Sold! Now it only I did any plowing ….
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Hmm, doesn’t do the female companionship thing. This may be a major impediment for sales…
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Haha. Great story. Love the last line 😀
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Thank you! 🙂
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Welcome to FF, Eagle Aye. I loved this story – very funny and expertly written. See you next week 🙂
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Thanks for the compliment. See you then!
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Very funny 🙂 I imagine Lord Hinton comes from the kind of boarding school background where the merits of hearth and home are a little lacking!
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Thanks! Yeah Lord Hinton is just “a bit” disassociated from his clientele.
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Lovely plot twist you got there 🙂
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Thank you. 🙂
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Welcome to the group. I like this and it sounds like the all-in-one promise sounds either too good to be true or too complex for the farmers to take a chance.
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Thanks. Glad to be here. Like so many things of it’s ilk, the Omni Plow is a jack of all trades, master of none.
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I feel like all the characters on “The Walking Dead” would love one of those. Sorry…I really like zombies.
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I totally understand. I could see a Zombie on one of these.
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Loved the story 🙂
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Much appreciated! Glad you liked it.
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