A Frustrated Beast

Photo by: Jan Wayne Fields

Photo by: Jan Wayne Fields

After frantic calls from Naturalists for Environmental Research and Development Studies (NERDS), a park ranger set out in search for Dr. Perrimore.

He found the camp, and it was an ugly scene. He carefully avoided stepping on the scattered body parts.

At first, he was thought a grizzly had mauled the doctor. Then he found the doctor’s diary in the tent. The last entry read:

I’ve perfected the mating call of the peaceful and intelligent Sasquatch. Testing it today. Thing is, if it arrives, no females will be present. I’m certain the gentle creature will forgive my deception for science.

______________________________
Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2016/11/30/2-december-2016/

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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43 Responses to A Frustrated Beast

  1. Al says:

    HAHAHAHA. He was well and truly … wrong. That is great Eric. I love it,

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great flash fiction story, Eric. Long live Dr. Perrimore: the Curie of his time!

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe. At least we can be thankful he’s not the Oppenheimer of his time. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Glad you liked it. Thanks so much! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, you’re good. I think Douglas Adams [and now, Sir Terry] would smile down upon you (the former hitchhiking in some galaxy). I’m glad you’ve found time, amid being a dad & husband, to write! Very enjoyable stuff.

        Liked by 1 person

      • EagleAye says:

        Aw, that’s so nice. If those two are smiling at me, my life is complete. Thanks so much! ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • P.S. Tor in the last year (they send a weekly e-newsletter) has published some original fiction . . . I can look them up for you, if you want (on the first, which I don’t remember), which was a sad story about Sasquatch marrying, but the later and more recent is that they ran a story/novella by Harry Turtledove (alternate history), wherein Sasquatch run the government in California. It was a pretty decent story, imho! And sorry for the long comments!

        Liked by 1 person

      • EagleAye says:

        Ha! I’ve read a few books by Turtledove. His alternative history is fascinating! I’d love it if I could get published by Tor. That’s my own fantasy. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Don’t worry about long comments. I love ’em! ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, I know, Eric. I love Tor! Dream publication for sure.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. michael1148humphris says:

    Mr Perrimore, silly man, mating call๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Eric,

    So much for “gentle creature.” Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lyn says:

    Ooops! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Not a good move at all.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. List of X says:

    He shouldn’t have expected anything different. Even in the most advanced human males, intelligence is rarely present during mating rituals.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. wmqcolby says:

    Be glad I wasn’t drinking anything … I would have SPEWED! Hilarious, dry, SO well-conceived.

    Five out of five calls of the wild.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear EA,

    This was the perfect and predictable (so why did he do it? Science!) end to a noble man in pursuit of knowledge. I hope he blacked out quickly. Still laughing here.

    Yours,

    Doug

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe. Poor fellow. If only he’d built an armored bunker first. Luckily he did black out quickly. That first bodily whack (out of eighteen) against a tree did the trick. He was quite mercifully unconscious for the rest of it. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Glad you got a good laugh. It’s all I hoped for. Thanks much, Doug! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  9. Dale says:

    As a doctor, he should know not to mess with the sex drives of a wild beast…
    For all you (us) Star Trek fans.. remember the Vulcans? Or, the Klingons? And they were humanoid… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  10. ceayr says:

    Hell hath no fury like a Sasquatch scorned, as famous naturalist Billy Bob Shakeastick never said.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha! Yeah, it’s probably unwise to make a 700 pound creature angry and frustrated. It’s one of the main reasons Sasquatch’s can’t hold a 9 to 5 job in a cubicle farm. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Like

  11. Michael Wynn says:

    Oh, ever so slight miscalculation. Not forgiven at all, never mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. jellico84 says:

    teary laughter abounds! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover says:

    NERDS – great line in a very funny story.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Indira says:

    At first I thought you have a change of heart and writing a sad story. Can’t suppress :):):). What is Sasquatch?

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Tena Carr says:

    The good doctor thought wrong ๐Ÿ˜

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I laughed out loud at this one, Eric. Such an idealist. The moral of this story is “Never tease a lonely Sasquatch”. Great comedic writing. ๐Ÿ˜€ — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Awesome. I love it when folks laugh out loud. I think when mimicking a creature twice your strength, you should probably do it from a bomb shelter. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thanks so much, Suzanne! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  17. Rowena says:

    Just like they say not to get between a mother and her baby, I guess you shouldn’t get between a male and dare I say “dating prospects”.
    I guess this story confirms that old adage: “fools rush in where angels fear to tread.”
    Really loved this. Well done.
    xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

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