In Reality

Photo by: Sandra Crook

Everyone thought it was a streetlight. It fizzled out when somebody needed it most, just like a real streetlight. In reality, it was an FTL transceiver used by alien spies. It transmitted a message as follows:

In conclusion, we determine that Earth is a nexus for critical intelligence data. Invading this planet would destroy vital information streams that ensure Empire security. Invasion is not recommended.

“Excellent report,” said Pfingzig, primping his feathers. “We’d suffer awfully without this intelligence.”

“Precisely,” replied Duiphil, collecting the TV remote and popcorn bowl. “We must know who wins The Voice and Dancing with the Stars!”
________________________________
Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/12/13/15-december-2017/

Author’s Notes

FTL: Faster Than Light.

Dancing with the Stars: “…is an American dance competition television series that premiered on June 1, 2005…”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dancing_with_the_Stars_(U.S._TV_series)

The Voice: “…is an American reality television singing competition…”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Voice_(U.S._TV_series)

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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56 Responses to In Reality

  1. mandibelle16 says:

    Always love reading your pieces, they make me laugh. Yes what if they never found out who won dancing with the stars. Could be the end of everything as they know it πŸ˜‰β˜ΊοΈ

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Even the aliens are hooked on crap TV!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Eric,

    Well this would prove there’s intelligent life on other planets. πŸ˜‰ Love it.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

  4. prior.. says:

    hahahah – it does look like a disguised transformer

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ha ha – good one! Thank you.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Iain Kelly says:

    Too late, Duiphil is already infected! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Joy Pixley says:

    The aliens have been captured by our most insidious trap! Of course, it wasn’t meant to ensnare aliens, just lots of regular TV viewers, but hey, use what works. Funny piece, Eric!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. List of X says:

    I guess there was a reason for these shows after all.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I have little interest in either series, but if “Britain’s Got Talent” or “America’s Got Talent” were still on…that would be different!
    Mine: https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2017/12/14/lighting-the-way/
    Scott

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ha ha ha ha. The sleeper cell has gone native! The pointy thingie on top of the lamp post does look a lot like a transmitter πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Right? The first I thought was communications antennae. And it’s true, the aliens “have gone native.” We’ve corrupted them with television, something they had no defense against. . πŸ˜‰

      Thanks so much! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Sandra says:

    The popcorn and remote control were a masterly touch. Nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. draliman says:

    Sounds like they’ve “gone native” πŸ™‚ Just as well for us.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. We live in an information age but not sure if we are tapping into the right info!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. They’ll be competing on one of those shows next! Excellent.

    Click to read my FriFic!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. pennygadd51 says:

    Well, who’d have thought that reality TV would save the world! Love the title, EagleAye!

    Like

  16. granonine says:

    Wow. To think that’s all it boils down to. Enjoyed this very much, it made me smile.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. michael1148humphris says:

    This story made me smile. Heaven help earth if aliens watch our TV, they might get some odd ideas.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Susan says:

    We had a power outage on the same night as the finale to Survivor (this was a long time ago). My wonderful husband rigged up a TV to run off the car battery so i could watch it. There are things in life we just have to know. Another pleasurable read.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Varad says:

    Now that ‘Net Neutrality’ is gone, guess the time might be ripe for an invasion πŸ˜€
    “FOR NETFLIX”

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Dahlia says:

    Haha – loved this story πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Once again, you have made me laugh. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Ha.. aliens caught up reality shows… maybe we can thank the Kardashians for saving the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Indira says:

    :):):), too good. We have our own Hindi version of these realities shows and our life depends on them, let your aliens watch them, they will forget American shows, :).

    Like

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha! Makes sense. Your movie industry is bigger than ours, why not the same with reality shows? I watched a Jackie Chan movie recently. He played a chinese treasure hunter who teamed up with an Indian treasure hunter. The whole movie was a joint Chinese/Indian production. so at the end of it I wondered, “Will they do a dance?” Sure enough, they did! I laughed so hard. I’ll make sure the aliens watch some Indian reality shows. Whatever it takes to keep the world safe. πŸ˜‰ Thanks Indira!

      Liked by 1 person

  24. And here we’ve been afraid of the aliens. Heck, they’re a lot like us.Good writing, Eric. Hilarious. πŸ˜€ —- Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Yep. It’s so often like that when meeting a foreign culture. On the surface they’re different, but in critical ways, they’re just the same. Glad you had fun. Thanks kindly Suzanne!

      Like

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